"For I Know The Plans I Have For You"

"Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."

Reminding myself of this. As it's been many nights lately, I am up at a time I would rather be asleep. I'm having an anxiety attack, similar to the ones before it. When I was younger, all the talks with therapists, I thought I had my emotions under control. As I google "anxiety disorders," "how to relieve anxiety," "what causes anxiety," I am just becoming more and more anxious as time goes on. It's time to let go.

Let go of the past Amanda. I keep telling myself this. I've tried to comfort myself by telling my head to "live without regret." But my heart has regret, and I need forgiveness. Forgiveness from the people who love me the most, and most importantly my Heavenly Father. Lord, I ask now that you carry my burdens. 

Practicing my breathing, slowly inhale, slowly exhale. Calming myself down, thinking of only the positive in life and my purpose on this Earth. Our amazing God created me with passion, attention to detail, and purpose. Jeremiah 29:11, repeating to myself, "I know the plans I have for you." It's time to stop making myself sick, literally sick, and move forward. JUST MOVE FORWARD. 

It's time to build rebuild a relationship with the Lord. It's time to be at peace with who I am. It's time to live for today, not yesterday and the mistakes I've made. Not tomorrow and the mistakes I'm sure I'll make, just today, in this moment. 

And finally the emotion is beginning to subside, hopefully sleep is soon to follow!

Always remember, just breathe.

Struggle. Life seems like a struggle. Constantly struggling to be the best, look the best, do the best. How can one person possibly be put under that much pressure. This is the girl under too much pressure, the girl who has to remind herself to just breathe. The girl who needs to realize she is enough and she does enough. I am beyond excited for this opportunity, the opportunity to let the words flow. Without judgement. Without critique. This is the girl, elated to share with you, the person that she is.